2024 October Pregnancy & Infant Loss

Today marks the beginning of Pregnancy and Infant Loss month.

And this is now my 5th October of carrying the weight of the pain of loss.

To be completely honest with you, I have tears just writing that out.

5 years. 5 years of being included in that category. 5 years of being a horrible statistic. 5 years of living out a month dedicated to the beautiful baby girl I never got to raise and the many babies in heaven with her.

I was looking for a picture to post of her but I had to scroll so far. My camera roll should be full of pictures of her but I only have a few to pick from.

That is heartbreaking.

And there is a group of us that live with this type of heartbreak every single day. I’ve met so many of them. Heard their stories. Said their baby’s names. Shared in their grief.

Because nothing can prepare you for the pain that comes from unexpectedly hearing your unborn child no longer has a heartbeat.

Nothing can prepare you for walking into a hospital 9 months pregnant and then walking out of a hospital with only a box and an empty heart.

Nothing can prepare you for picking out your child’s casket and the clothes they will be buried in and then watching that tiny casket be lowered into the ground and covered with dirt.

Nothing can prepare you for the weeping, sleepless nights, nightmares, anxiety and trauma.

“For where their is deep grief, their is great love”

And we all have that in common. A deep grief and longing for our child that we love beyond measure.

Every day we hear and say the names of other children while our child’s name is very seldomly heard from anyones lips.

But not this month.

This month we say their names.

Emma, Brady, Ella, Weston, Reagan, Ezra, Brooklyn, Adalynn, Lindsey, Jackson, etc…

And this month we pray for their parents, the ones who forever hold their child in their hearts.

The ones who share deep grief, but also such great great love.

💜💜💜