9 Months

9 months in Heaven.

For 9 months you lived inside me. I felt you roll around, kick, and hiccup. I remember feeling these things and quickly grabbing your daddy’s hand so he could feel them too. I remember rubbing my hand along my belly talking to you and telling you how excited I was to be your momma. I still am.

For 9 months I expected your arrival. I looked forward to it. I was counting down the weeks. I was so excited. I was so ready.

But today, instead of being 9 months holding you in my arms it has been 9 months loving you from here while you’ve been snuggling with Jesus.

It’s been an excruciating 9 months to say the least. But honestly, today, in this moment, I look around at what’s happening in this world and my eyes fill up with tears and my heart with thankfulness. I would do anything to have you here…But this world isn’t for you. It’s too dark. It’s too broken. It’s too sinful. And you were just too perfect.

Baby girl even though I want you here, you are just where you need to be. You’ve left quit a footprint here (I mean look at how big those feet are😉). You’ve given your momma and daddy quit a mission to share the light of Jesus with this dark world. A scary task, but one we are willing and ready to take on.

Instead of looking at it as 9 months without you, I’m trying to look at it as 9 months closer to being with you again. Every day is just one day closer to our great reunion. Oh how amazing that day will be.

Until then, we promise to keep shining Gods light here, no matter what. We promise to keep His name above every other name. And we promise to share your life with others so that they can see that He is good in ALL circumstances.

Because after these last 9 months I can still say that He is.

I love you Emma. 9 months closer baby girl💜

Love, Mom