I Will Shall Not Be Shaken

A couple months before Emma was born I bought her this personalized swaddle with her name all over it. I was so excited to have her wear it so we could take pictures of her and announce her arrival with it on. I even thought about how special it would be if I gave it to her again when she was much older as a keepsake… her very own baby swaddle.

Emma never got to be announced in that baby swaddle. Instead, it’s the outfit her dad and I chose for her to be buried in.

These last 7 weeks have been, in no other words, painful. I’ve questioned God a lot. I’ve asked him “why my Emma?” “Why me?” “Where are you God?” “Is this ever going to get easier?” “What was the point of this?” I’ve been sad, mad, hurt, and confused. I’ve felt defeated.

But God is still speaking to me. He is showing me that even through the greatest pain, he is still present. Even in the hard decisions, he is still helping. Even through the confusing emotions, he is still listening. And even through the greatest tragedy, he still loves me.

I may not understand right now why Emma was taken so soon. Honestly, I may never know why. But I’m choosing to believe that God knows why. And I’m choosing to believe that his plans for me and my family are bigger and better than any of the plans I had. I’m clinging to that hope. And tonight I’m picturing my baby girl in heaven all snuggled up in her swaddle that her mommy got her💜

I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Psalm 16:8

#emmasblessings#myemmalee