Still Walking

I snapped this photo last week when I was walking Benji boy. While I was walking I ran into a young mom pushing a stroller with her daughter in it. She smiled at me and I smiled back. My heart broke a little.

A year ago I would walk this same path with Benji (and JD) but I was almost nine months pregnant and we were walking because that was pretty much the only exercise this mama could handle. While we walked I remember smiling and talking about how pretty soon we would be pushing a stroller with a baby in it. I can still feel the excitement I felt to be that mom pushing that stroller proudly with my daughter.

A lot has changed since that day. Life has changed. I’ve changed. And while I passed that mom pushing her stroller I felt like I was passing what could’ve been for me. What should’ve been.

But I’m here to tell you that although it hurt/hurts, I’m still here walking this same path. I may not be doing what I thought I would be doing by now. I may not be pushing that stroller. But I can tell you that God is still good to me. I have changed, but it hasn’t been for the bad. God has molded me and reminded me that although I’m not doing what I thought I would be doing – I still am everything he has desired me to be.

And so after passing that young mom on my walk I snapped this photo to remind myself that – that God has gotten me here. I wouldn’t wish anyone to go through what I’ve been through, but at the same time I’m so thankful that I have a God who loves me enough to walk with me through the fire and draw me closer to Him in the midst of it. I am His and He is mine. Just as my daughter is.

Thank you, Lord, for being my guide. Thank you for bringing me here. Thank you for reminding my heart that you don’t need to push a stroller to be a mama💜